Mental Health Isn’t a Buzzword
Originally published as part of Nick’s Nightly Notions as
“5 Changes We Need to Make” on 01/16/19.
Revisited and refined on 05/19/25.
Common Misunderstandings and Mistakes of Mental Health
What a strange and confusing time we live in... No, no, no — I’m not talking about our president or the fact that people still use 3-in-1 shampoo. It’s time to be a little serious and talk about mental health.
Mental health is an extremely broad topic — and honestly, I know very little about it from a formal standpoint. I haven’t taken a single class on the subject or done a ton of outside research. But by opening up to others and allowing them to open up to me, I’ve started to recognize a few common misunderstandings and mistakes we make — both as a society and as individuals — when it comes to mental health.
5 Things to Change — Macro to Micro
1. Open Up to Others and Let Them Open Up to You
This is a macro-societal issue, but it starts with individual choices, especially for men. I get it: we’re told to be tough, to “stuff it down” like Bill Burr jokes in F is for Family. But seriously, when you open up about things like “why you never get out of bed” or “why you stopped going out,” you’ll be surprised how many people are dealing with the same thing — and might even offer advice or a helping hand.
It’s like the Shame Wizard from Big Mouth — he’s messing with all of us. The only way to shut him up is to talk about it. And even if we can’t shut him up? At least we can complain together. As the old saying goes, “Misery loves company.”
2. Stop Confusing Stress with Anxiety
This is one that pisses me off a lot. I constantly hear on a hungover Sunday, "I'm so anxious, I have a project due tonight and an exam on Tuesday," or "This game is giving me anxiety." I understand many people just use this as an expression — I have myself — but it undermines people when they truly express that they have anxiety. When you are up to date on everything you need to do, have a clean conscience, and still feel that horrible pit in your stomach, that is truly anxiety.
3. It’s Not an Excuse — It’s an Illness
Similar to the point above, but a little more personal. Too often I hear people use “mental health” as an excuse to be lazy or skip out on commitments. Sometimes it’s out loud, sometimes just in their own head.
I’ve done it. I used to tell myself it was okay to lay in bed all day, then wait until nighttime to start assignments. I’d get overwhelmed, call it anxiety, and tell myself I just needed rest and would go hard tomorrow. I never did. The next day, the work was doubled — and the cycle kept spiraling.
Yes, I was struggling. But “relaxing” never fixed the laziness or stress. It only fed my depression and anxiety until they were ten times worse.
4. Actively Work On Yourself
Without a sense of accomplishment or purpose, it’s hard to get out of bed. You start thinking, “What’s the point?”
Start small. Read a couple chapters a week. Hit the gym a few times. Make your bed. These simple tasks give you little wins throughout the day. Stack them.
At the same time, start searching for something that lights you up — your passion. That’s what will get you out of bed when nothing else will. Once you have that spark, it becomes easier to show up for the stuff you have to do and the stuff you want to do.
5. Seek Professional Help
This is as micro as it gets.
If you’ve opened up to people, stayed active, created routines, and still feel like you’re drowning — please reach out to a professional. Sometimes a moderate condition turns severe simply because we don’t have a support system or never dealt with buried emotions.
P.S.
The first rule of lifeguarding is: save yourself first.
We often look out at the ocean of mental health and see others struggling to stay afloat. Without a second thought, we rush in to help. But we forget the flotation device. We push further and further because we can’t stand to see others suffer like we did. Eventually, we lose sight of ourselves, and the water starts closing in.
So here’s the challenge: get back to land. Take a few deep breaths. Grab a flotation device — whether that’s therapy, medication, meaningful work, or a daily sense of accomplishment. Then go back out, stronger. You’ll help others stay afloat, and more importantly, keep yourself from drowning.
P.P.S.
Like I said earlier, I’m not a mental health professional. This is all based on stories and personal experience. If you’re reading this and having suicidal thoughts or thinking about hurting yourself, please call:
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255