In today’s world of 24/7 news cycles, social media storms, and constant political tension, we often find ourselves quickly picking sides—battling over ideologies, headlines, or situations we barely had time to digest. As I’ll explore in a later post, this knee-jerk response isn’t entirely our fault. It stems from a deep human need to belong to something larger than ourselves, shaped by the economic class or country we were born into, and by the thousands of years our ancestors spent trying to make sense of life’s timeless questions.

While bias and perception aren't always something we choose—after all, none of us picked our upbringing—our real mistake is believing that the way we were raised is superior. I often see Twitter warriors fighting tooth and nail for their version of truth and justice, only to hit the block button the moment someone challenges them. No discussion. No thought. Just silence.

This widespread avoidance of confrontation—this fear of going beyond “How was your day?”—has left us stuck. But I believe there’s hope. If used properly (meaning: don’t be an asshole just to be an asshole), we can reclaim the role of the "Devil’s Advocate" and turn it into a tool for deeper, more meaningful dialogue.

The Devil’s Advocate reminds me of that infamous Vine where a kid keeps asking, “Why?” At first it’s funny, then annoying—just like someone who uses the DA role poorly. It’s no wonder the phrase carries a negative vibe. We live in a world where most people shrink from challenge instead of meeting it head-on—like the Twitter warrior who blocks instead of backing up their claim or making an effort to understand the other side.

It’s a fine line to walk, but I have a few ideas on how to begin mastering the DA approach.

Start with close friends—the ones who won’t hate you for playing devil’s advocate. Better yet, try it with a topic you both agree on. See how deep their understanding really goes. Passion and volume don’t equal knowledge. As James Patterson once said, “Assume nothing, question everything.” What you’ll often find—together—is that you don’t know nearly as much about the things you care most about as you thought.

As your skill grows, move on to people you don’t always agree with. Maybe a friend who holds different political views. Or, if politics isn’t your thing, someone who (for some reason) prefers Star Trek over Star Wars. The goal isn’t to prove how smart you are or expose someone else—it’s to listen.

Really listen.

By challenging others and allowing yourself to be challenged—and then taking it a step further to truly hear their perspective—you create the only real path to growth. When we recognize that our initial beliefs weren’t fully chosen, and we understand where our differences come from, we can finally get clear on what we do believe.

If we could all step down from our high horses—whatever breed they may be—and stop trying to shout each other down long enough to actually listen, we might just unlock the growth and potential we’ve been afraid we’d never reach.

Talk soon,

NB